Parallel Slalom

The project 'Parallel Slalom' is a mode of simultaneously writing 'parallel' stories by two authors on a previously set theme, chosen via a specific procedure. During the eight years of working on this joint venture, Ogurlic and Jurkovic have written more than a hundred parallel stories. This project gave birth to two books; 'Parallel Slalom' (ICR, 1989), and 'The Most beautiful Stories - Parallel Slalom 2' (Tiskara Rijeka 1993) and to a homonymous theatre production by Rijeka's ensemble 'Otvorena Scena Belveder'

Ogurlic 85

IF YOU FIX YOUR TEETH YOU WILL GET MARRIED WELL

In one of the second class compartments of a through train travelling through Bosnia, three travellers rode: Ana Karenina, wife of a senior Russian civil servant, writer Ernest Hemingway and Svejk. It was quite obvious that Svejk fell in love at first sight with the lady across. Sweeping discomfort just made his tongue looser.

- I will, milady, by all means, inform Mr. Oberlieutnant Lucas about yourself and persuade him to personally invite you to Ceske Budjeovice where he possesses a small estate and a wagon sized pigsty, and where clover grows especially well. He will certainly rejoice in the fact that you ride in a second class compartment without any complex whatsoever, although he often tells that even cattle wouldn't survive the endless clattering of second class because it would sooner or later die of sea-sickness. I will tell you frankly, Miss, my master will turn topsy-turvy out of joy when I tell him that you are Russian; I would hang myself if he ever saw a pure-blooded Russian woman in his whole life - otherwise he has no positive opinion of these, and it is exactly because he has no idea of how women from the east look. At any rate I will also mention this gentleman who speaks very little, he almost can't be heard at all, although he is a 2 meters high colossus and keeps puffing and snorting - he could have whiffed us away from the compartment through and through. I recall a story of a certain man that snored in his sleep, and almost succeeded to scatter his house by blowing. This man blew away all of his family, and had to search for them all around the world: he only managed to find his Grandma, on Alaska...

- I am going to throw myself under the train - said Ana Karenina all of a sudden, who had been listening to Svejk's tales and stories all the way from Bratislava.

- Good idea - said Hemingway with enthusiasm. Then he took a carbine and shot himself dead.

Jurkovic '85

IF YOU FIX YOUR TEETH, YOU WILL GET MARRIED WELL

Bole is indisposed for a month already. Inadmissible. Such a cadre and yet disengaged for such a long time. I told Zvonko three days ago, that he has to do something about it, being the Committee secretary and all. If he doesn't come on the coordination meeting, I will put the question myself. In the midst of the cadre's crisis, during the rotation of positions, they succeed to leave out Bole. These days, there are no more diligent cadres like him. Bole never jumped the gun with his judgements. Always measured, realising all the contradictions of our dynamic social development. I don't understand. Maybe sometimes he didn't deport in a principled manner, but however, it only happened when he drunk a little. Bole has a private restaurant and one has lots of work around a private restaurant. It is hard to coordinate social obligations with the running of the restaurant. I know it from my very own experience. It is not fair of Uncle, Vaky and Zvonko to arrange cadres' politics in Bole's restaurant, and to leave him toleave him afterwards without any function to exercise. Anyhow, people increasingly lose trust in our political guidance. When the inner enemy strengthens his activity inside the people, we have to slow down a bit. Bole has always been unmatched in that field. That is why Bole should be urgently positioned in some responsible function, even if it is the chair of the Union President. After all, he has established himself, during the 60s differentiation period. I have to clear up this point once again with comrades in the Committee. It is not the same as in the case of Zeljana. Last year Zeljana has (according to my opinion) stepped forward on the Coordination meeting and asked the Committee to find her a husband. Oh, come on, please! Such a request! So far from socialism, from the principled questions dealing with the acute problems in accordance with our program. While we solve the problems in the ironworks and prepare the materials for the anniversary of the forming of the workgroup for problem solutions, she steps forward from such a Philistine position. She looks for the husband, what's more, she asks the Committee to accomplish that task, and worst of all - she is as ugly as a Nazi. - Come on, fix your teeth - I told her on that occasion, being as principled as ever.